Layin’ awake, tryin’ to think back to the first thing I can remember of my life and it’s here, a river, but where is this place? I was about maybe 7 or 8, which is strange. Why can’t I remember anything before that time? I’ve never really thought ‘bout this before. Why was it that the people who I thought were my parents were always on the move? An’ seein’ we have found out some things ‘bout my old man, was I given to them for a reason, or was I taken for a reason?
Were we on the run and I just didn’t know it? Why also was their last name Purifoy, if they weren’t my parents? Could they have been related? But then how does Tine tie into all of this. I know she is blood, I can feel it now. I know it as sure as I know anythin’. Could they have just taken my name cause they were hidin’ from someone? Then why not just go with Smith or Jones. Purifoy ain’t just your ordinary everyday name.
So why do I remember this place? Maybe cause it’s the one place the man I thought was my father actually spent a day with me. We did some fishin’. It was a good day. The woman I thought was my mother, she cooked it up afterwards for dinner on a camp fire. It was ‘bout the only day he really paid me any attention. I was always kinda in the way. Maybe that’s the reason I don’t do family well. The whole marriage and kids thing, yeah it just ain’t me.
So is everythin’ I have known up to this point a lie? What if I had stayed with my parents, had the upbringin’ other kids have, instead of thinkin’ your parents couldn’t really give a fuck? No wonder I left and went my own way as soon as I could. It’s not like they have come lookin’ for me, or even contacted me, but then again that works both ways. Fuck I don’t even know where they are, it’s been a few years. I gotta ask myself, has the life that was suppose to have been mine been lost forever and the answer is, yeah it has, there ain’t no goin’ back. This is the hand that fate dealt me. I just wish fate would go and choose some other poor bastard sometime.
Now I just want to know why things ended up the way they did. I know Clarisse messed with me and Tine, revenge for killing her niece. If she hadn’t of clouded our minds we might have realized before that our blood bond was a true family blood bond. There ain’t no point beatin’ myself up about that. Fuck, it could be worst I could’ve kill her too. Least this way we can still be in each other’s lives. I admit it’s gonna be hard for a while an’ awkward, but we have been to hell and back. This is just another test for us all to get over.
So you might ask, where to from now? Well I am thinkin’, number 1, find who my family were. Number 2, why and how I ended up with another family. Number 3, what is my real relationship to Tine. Only 3 questions is all I need to know in the end.
I look over to see that Abby is stll sleepin’. We went our separate ways over a year ago and here we are back where we started. Never thought that would happen. Clarisse sure got it wrong. She wanted to hurt me and in a way she has, but it’s gonna take more than her to break me. I lay my hand on her side and it rises and falls with each breath she takes and I’m reluctant to get out of bed, but there is more work to do to find the answers I need.
At least that is one thing I have from all of this. I know I can’t be broken no matter what is thrown my way.